CSA Farm Intimidation Tactics

I intentionally didn't sign up for a local CSA farm box delivery for several reasons. The most important reason was my envy of the farmers who, through my rose-colored glasses, were able to spend their days working in the garden. There they were, sipping lemonade in the sunshine, pulling the perfect pickling cucumbers from their perfectly mixed soil. Sick bastards.

The second reason is my universal envy/awe/adoration of and for anyone who has a greener thumb than I do. This pretty much covers everyone, but then, when I'm learning something, it always feel like I'm the last person on earth who doesn't know how to do it.

Sometimes, I'm able to take a CSA box home from work when the original purchaser is out of town. It's then that I look deep into the wax-coated, brown paper box and wonder why they grew weird-shaped onions, one pepper in each color, exactly five potatoes, a melon (I think), a head of cabbage and some mystery greens.

I look at that stuff and I think, "chicken food!" They're gonna love it!

Reason #3 I didn't want to pay for a CSA box is that I don't eat those veggies (there. I said it.) and I don't know what to do with them then they're sitting, limply in a dirty box on my kitchen floor.

Photo of a CSA box (shamelessly stolen from the Internet.) (The photo, not the box.)

However, none of this means that I don't want to, and will not try to grow and eat some of the CSA box veggies next year. And I'm giddy to try different types of tomatoes and potatoes and carrots.

My carrots are tiny. They hate me. But they're so cute! I ate them. My kid smothered them with non-organic Ranch dressing and devoured them.

So, in a reverse kinda way, the CSA box did what it's supposed to. Someone paid the farmers for the box. It wasn't me. Many people ate from the weekly deliveries and if I learned a lot from the two boxes I've brought home, then I can only assume that anyone else who has received a box has been forever changed. CSA farmers are sneaky that way.